(Accumulating pieces are played on C crochets and quavers to taste!)

There was an old woman to market did go,
To purchase herself a pig.
When taking the little porker home
He led her an awful rig.
"Oh my," was the old woman's cry -
She was in a terrible plight -
The pig he won't jump over the stile;
I shall never get home tonight."

The old woman saw a dog passing by
When she'd waited a little while.
"Good doggie," said she, "will you bite the pig
And make him jump over the stile?"
"Oh my," was the old woman's cry -
She was in a terrible plight -
"Dog won't bite pig;
Pig won't jump stile;
I shall never get home tonight."

The old woman saw a stick lying by
When she'd waited a little while.
"Good stick," said she, "will you beat the dog,
For the dog to bite the pig to jump the stile?"
"Oh my," was the old woman's cry -
She was in a terrible plight -
"Stick won't beat dog;
Dog won't bite pig;
Pig won't jump over the stile;
I shall never get home tonight."

The old woman saw a blazing fire
When she'd waited a little while.
"Good fire," said she, "will you please burn the stick,
The stick to beat the dog, the dog to bite the pig,
the pig to jump the stile?"
"Oh my," was the old woman's cry -
She was in a terrible plight -
"Fire won't burn stick;
Stick won't beat dog;
Dog won't bite pig;
Pig won't jump over the stile;
I shall never get home tonight."

The old woman saw a pool of water
When she'd waited a little while.
"Good water," said she, "will you squinch the fire,
The fire to burn the stick;
The stick to beat the dog;
The dog to bite the pig,
The pig to jump the stile?"
"Oh my," was the old woman's cry -
She was in a terrible plight -
"Water won't squich fire;
Fire won't burn stick;
Stick won't beat dog;
Dog won't bite pig;
Pig won't jump over the stile;
I shall never get home tonight."

The old woman saw an ox passing by
And he came near the stile.
"Good ox," said she, "will you drink the water,
The water to squinch the fire;
The fire to burn the stick;
The stick to beat the dog;
The dog to bite the pig,
The pig to jump the stile?"
"Oh my," was the old woman's cry -
She was in a terrible plight -
"Ox won't drink water;
Water won't squich fire;
Fire won't burn stick;
Stick won't beat dog;
Dog won't bite pig;
Pig won't jump over the stile;
I shall never get home tonight."

[So the old woman saw a butcher passing by
As he came near the stile.]
The butcher began to kill the ox, the ox to drink the water;
The water began to squinch the fire, the fire to burn the stick;
The stick began to beat the dog,
(Spoken) Dog to bite the pig, the pig to jump the stile.
"Oh my," was the old woman's cry,
"I'm not in such a terrible plight."
The little pig he jumped over the stile
And the old woman got home that night.


abc | midi | pdf

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Source: Palmer, Roy, 1998, A Book of British Ballads, Llanerch

Notes:
Sung by Sam Bennett (1865-1951), Ilmington, Warwickshire, collected by James M Carpenter (No 238, Carpenter Collection, Library of Congress)

Roy Palmer wrote:

This story is so widespread that it has a number (2030) in the international index of tale-types. The fascination lies in the accumulation of seemingly insoluble problems. Eventually, a key is found and there is a chain reaction which brings a most satisfying resolution. More than a suspicion remains that a spell has been unlocked by the appropriate charm, and this should perhaps be regarded less as a tall story than as a piece of good magic.

Roud: 746 (Search Roud index at VWML)
Laws:
Child: