THE IRON HORSE

Come Hielandman, come Lowland man, come every man on earth, man,
And I'll tell you how I got on atween Dundee and Perth, man;
I gaed upon an iron road--a rail they did it ca', man--
An' ruggit by an iron horse, an awfu' beast to draw, man.

Sing fal, lal, la.

Then first and foremost, near the door, there was a wee bit wicket,
It was there they gar'd me pay my ride, and they gied me a ticket;
I gaed awa' up through a house, sat doon upon a kist, man,
To tak' a look o' a' I saw on the great big iron beast, man.

There was houses in a lang straucht raw, a' stannin' upon wheels, man,
And then the chiels that fed the horse were as black's a pair o' deils, man;
And the ne'er a thing they gae the brute but only coals to eat, man--
He was the queerest beast that e'er I saw, for he had wheels for feet, man,

A chap cam' up and round his cap he wore a yellow band, man,
He bade me gang and tak' my seat. Says I, "I'd rather stand, man."
He speer'd if I was gaun tae Perth. Says I, "An that I be, man:
But I'm weel enough just whaur I am, because I want to see, man."

He said I was the greatest fule that e'er he saw on earth, man!
For 'twas just the houses on the wheels that gaed frae this to Perth, man,
And then he laughed, and wondered hoo I hadna mair discernment,
Says I-- "The ne'er a ken kent I; I thought the hale concern went."

The beast it roared, and aff we gaed, through water, earth and stanes, man;
We ran at sic a fearfu' rate, I thought we'd brak oor banes, man,
Till by and by we stoppit at a place ca'd something Gowrie,
But ne'er a word had I to say, but only sit and glower aye.

Then after that we made a halt, and in comes Yellow Band, man;
He asked for the ticket, and I a' my pouches fand, man,
But ne'er a ticket I could get--I'd tint it on the road, man--
So he gar'd me pay for't ower again, or else gang aff to quod, man.

Then after that we crossed the Tay, and landit into Perth, man,
I vow it was the queerest place that e'er I saw on earth, man;
For the houses and the iron horse were far aboon the land, man,
And hoo they got them up the stairs I canna understand, man.

But noo I'm safely landit, and my feet are on the sod, man,
When I gang to Dundee again I'll tak' anither road, man;
Though I should tramp upon my feet till I'm no fit to stand, man,
Catch me again when I'm ta'en in wi' a chap in a yellow band, man.

Few songs that have been seldom printed have enjoyed greater popularity about the districts of Perth and Dundee than "The Iron Horse," which had its rise and go in a time when the country people of Scotland were less familiar with railway travelling than now, and funny incidents were common. It was written by Charles Balfour, for many years, and even until recently, stationmaster at Glencarse, and was first sung, the author has told me, at a festival of railway servants held in Perth in 1848. If the ditty had any origin in fact at all, the following incident which occurred in Mr. Balfour's own experience when he was a guard on the Dundee and Arbroath line may bear the "wyte." One day a sailor with his chest entered the Dundee station bound for Arbroath. He had never seen a railway before, and pitching his chest from his shoulder on to the platform he quietly sat down on the top of it, as if to await the course of events. "Well, Jack," says Mr. B., "are you for Arbroath?" "Yes." "Well, then, you had better take your seat at once." "I think I'll do nicely here, mate." "But you must get into the train, you know." "Oh, hang the train," ejaculated the sailor; "I thought the whole concern went." This occurrence, it will be seen, is partially utilised in the song.